I Never Saw It Coming

Sorry it took so long to get this posted, but we had to take some time try to get our heads wrapped around this and contact some family members because we never saw this coming.

In Could It Be? Part II, I told you that I had talked to my very favorite cousin who said that she thought she remembered her mom saying that Lois was my birth mother. She also suggested that I talk to her older brother, T, because he was older and had a mind like a trap; once something gets in, he doesn't forget it. T is my guardian mother's sister's son. He, all my life, treated me like I was someone so very special to him. To me he was like a super great big brother, only without the sibling squabbles :)

Well, I emailed him, and he emailed back. Here is an excerpt of that email. My portions are in blue and his responses are in red: Does the name Lois Spencer ring a bell? If so, do you know how she plays into this? Yes.. I remember Lois well, Shar.. but she was not a member of the family but she was a very nice friend of our family. Could she be my birth mom, (No) or the one who got me from my birth mom and brought me to Harold and Juanita? Yes. L said she thought that your mom told her that Lois was my birth mother, but I have a copy of my original birth certificate and that's not the name listed for my birth mother. No.. Lois just kept you for a short while.. then you came back into the family. L wasn't born yet so she wouldn't remember a thing. The name listed on your birth certificate was an alias. Sorry, Sweetheart.. I know EXACTLY who your Mom was but I thought that you knew too... :(( Shar, Your REAL Mom was my very best Friend and protector when I was very, very little; she used to call me her "Sporty". The story isn't pretty, Sweetheart.. call me and I'll tell you all I know; I'm so sorry that I hadn't checked on that detail after your Dad (that would be my guardian dad) died.. thought he'd covered that base, I guess, but apparently not; in a way it's a very Sweet story....... On the other hand, I've had people from all over the country (called Search Angels) looking for the one who is listed, and no one could find a shred of evidence that she ever existed. No.. nor will they ever, of course... I know this is a long shot, but do you happen to have any pictures of this Lois? The reason I'm asking is because I did find a nephew of the man listed on my birth certificate as my birth father, Everett George Colwell. Everett's gone now, but the nephew sent me a couple of pictures of Everette's old girlfriends. One of them, I swear, is my birth mother. But, who is she? Is it Lois? I just don't know. Everett Colwell MIGHT or might NOT be your Father.. the name rings a bell but then.. I was only about 2-3 years old when you where born... Fear not.. I DO know who your Mom was... It would be nice to see the pictures you have.. I may know something about them too...Gosh, T, sorry for quizzing you like this, but anything that you might remember would be a huge help and appreciated more than you will ever know. Even a tiny, seemingly insignificant, thing you remember might just be the key to unlock this whole mystery. You wouldn't ever be able to guess, Sweetie!! :) You'll know most everything shortly, Sweet Girl.. but it would be better if we talked.. that way if you have any questions I'd be able to share what I know...

OMG!!! "Lois had you a while...then you came back into the family"!!!!! My birth mother was a blood relative to my guardian mom! My mind was racing while I dialed the phone. Busy signal. It couldn't be my guardian mom's two older sisters. Busy signal. They were already married and started their families. Busy signal. Crap, phone ring! Am I dialing the wrong number? Try again! It couldn't be my guardian mom's little sister. Busy signal. She would have only been 13 or 14 when I was conceived. Busy signal. Damn it phone, RING!!! Maybe it was one of my guardian mom's cousins I hadn't known about. "Hello? T? It's your cousin Shar."

I'm sure I woke him up. It was after midnight where he was. "Well hello", he said and then there was nothing but still air as if he was waiting for me to tell him why I was calling. I wanted to jump through the phone and drag the answers out of him. Now, in hind sight, I'm sure he was just trying to get his brain awake. Finally he started talking. "Before HS, (HS was the second husband of my guardian mom's mother. He was the one who shot and killed her) there was another man in grandma's life." "Grandma's my birth mother?" I don't have a clue why I lept to that conclusion. Patiently, he said "noh". "This man was not a very nice man." No s_ _ _, I thought, grandma never had any luck in finding a good man. "He took advantage of a sweet innocent child, P. Dear heart, your mother is P." P was my guardian mom's little sister! She was not quite fourteen when she was "taken advantage of". She had died of cancer when I was about 3 years old. My head was swimming, I had to put my head down on the counter I was standing at.

He went on to explain that the family did everything possible to keep it "hush-hush" to protect me. They used a fake name, age and every thing else, for my mother on my birth certificate. They sent me off to live with Lois until things "settled down" and my guardian parents decided they wanted to take me. There was no adoption because I was kept in the family.

I had so many more questions, but I wasn't capable of hearing any more of the story. Immediately after we hung up, Kim and I ran to get out the photo albums that my guardian dad had put together. There on the first page was a clue that we hadn't noticed before. There on the first page was a high school picture of P. All around it were baby pictures of me in the arms of my guardian mom.

Thank you T, for telling me the truth of my beginnings. I will always be grateful to you.